Why Get Married: Men Lie Women Cheat!

Sunday, October 01, 2006

And he married me for money

When I first heard about this journal I thought that maybe my story wouldn't matter since mine has to actually do with the person I married not just his family. But my friend told me that the best wey to get rid of all my demons would be to help her contribute to this new blog that she is developing. She wanted my story to be first so here i am writing my story enjoy. For privacy sake I have changed my name to Adeola and my husbands name to Adebisi.
_______________________________________________________________________

We met on campus at a respectable University. I was young and foolish. You see my father is very wealthy and all wealthy kids go I am very spoiled and extremely frivolous with money. I am not boasting about my exploints I am merely saying that I spend money. There is nothing wrong with saying this.

When my mother dropped me off on campus I was told to go meet some uncle that would look after me. At the time I was thinking this Uncle would be one old baba that I had to answer to. So I didn't go for a few days but merely got accustomed to living on campus.

After a week I was downstairs in the commons area when I recognized this guy that used to work in my father's company. I was surprised to see him and ran up to him and we began gisting. That night when I was talking to my mother she said "oh that is the uncle I wanted you to go meet". At the time we met he was very handsome. He had a very nice smile and a very Nigerian "akatarized" voice. I fell in love

So began our romance.

We hid our relationship from our families and friends because he was really much older than I and my father had threatened to disown me if I mess up my life one more time.

He taught me many things: how to manipulate my father for money, how to lie and sneak out of the dormitories, how to make love. You see he was my first and for the better part of the semester I spent it in his house. I slept, ate, bathed and cooked in his place. I was never where I should have been.

Towards the end of my first year, I got pregnant. He became furious with me. He thought I was trying to trap him. Unbeknown to me he was secretely seeing another girl in Lagos, and he had another girlfriend in America that he was seeing who had promised him immigration. He was a serial dater. I was in love and quickly went and had an abortion. Our romance continued until his girlfriend took him to America. I was upset. So I found a way to follow him there.

My father guaranteed that if I graduated with honors I could go and do my master's in the States. So I took my two left legs and came to the States, to the same university in the area where he was living. Apperently he was yet to marry this girl. She had brought him in on a fiance visa. I am a citizen and was taken to do University in Nigeria because I was misbehaving in my school here in the states. So on arriving I contacted him and of course our romance kicked off again.

I quickly took him to court and helped him file his papers for citizenship without my father being aware of it. I had lied to him about the cost of tuition and since I have a trust fund I used that as a back up for income. Now that I think about it I realize that he only used me and I foolishly allowed him. What an idiot I am.

Two years into this fake marriage, we let the cat out of the bag. He went and formaly asked for my hand in marriage from my father. My father was excited. He knew this Adebisi was a good man and everyone in our family embraced him. Of course during the two years of the phony marriage I had had two more abortions. The second one I did without him even knowing I was pregnant and the last one I did because he was furious that I would get pregnant while we are still sorting out our lives.

I realize foolishly now that I should have ended the relationship.

I visited a friend of mine in London the summer before our wedding. While I was in Europe he was busy fornicating with a whole bunch of women at the encouragement of his family. You see they are all oppurtunists. They knew that my father who is a Minister in Nigeria would give me anything I wanted, and they were willing to use thier brother as the hose to suction out money from my family.

After much talk with my friends in London, I realized that I was a fool and tried to back out of the whole affair. I escaped to my family house in Lagos that was when catacata bust. Adebisi lost his mind. He began spreading rumors about me and threatened to tell my family about my promiscous life with him and the abortions I had had if i didn't marry him. Afte much threatening and coerccion, I was so scared and being only 22 at the time I quit school, and married him in Lagos in September of 1999

From the day I said I do to this day it has been horrible.

His family has done nothing but live in my families home. I had two twin girls the first year of marriage. He was furious and called me all sorts of names. He said that my body was worth nothing because my father didn't collect a bride price. He lied to me about his age. I found out his true age from his birth certificate when I was packing our stuff to our new home. He is now 48. I am 31. He was basically dating me while he was an old baba posing as a young guy. As I am telling this story three of his brothers are living in our family house in Lagos. His useless disrespecting sister is staying with us and not working. We (Adebisi and I) are paying her tuition and fees to attend Howard University. This stupid girl came home at 2:00am telling me she went all the way to Baltimore for some Nigerian Festival two months ago. What did you wear to festival omoge? Short skirt with high heels. If the girl bent over you could see her but and all her goodies. She forget underwear?

And my husband, he doesn't work any more. From one stupid venture to another. With his two masters (One in Agriculture from UI and one from Penn State) he has yet to establish anything worthwhile. Meanwhile the house, car, and even the shoes he was wearing come from my trust fund.

As for our three children (I finally had a boy) they are with me. After my confrontation with Tinuke (that is her real name) and her slapping me and my husband not doing anything. After the council that their parents called on my head and started insulting me as a disrespectful wife and him not doing anything. And after he slapped me last month on top all the things he is eating from my hand i left!

I took my kids and rented an apartment in D.C.

Now we are safe. Do you know he hasn't once called to see his children? All he wanted to know today when he called was when the check from my trust would be coming so he can buy some new studio equipment for the rap group his brother wants to start.

Omo fashi that yans! I routed my money to my own account. Since I am Catholic and my family doesn't believe in divorce, I am stuck in a fruitless marriage.

So my own lesson to you young ladies:Watch out oh! Dick surpass dick! If he is giving it to you good, just remember that if he doesn't respect your body enough to treat you good when you are not on your back, he will never love you.

Well, I am relocating to Houston come January, start a new life without him. Some girls will not be fortunate like me to have thier fathers money but imagine the embarrasment. As old as I am...

Posted by Passion :: 3:11 AM :: 11 comments