Why Get Married: Men Lie Women Cheat!

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Sufering in Silence

I will lend a voice to the Nigerian male's plight. I mean I read this blog and realized that not only Nigerian women have a situation. We men also experience things on a daily basis that we know we shouldn't be putting up with. I know by the end of this story, you will hate me women but you have to understand that some things are have to be done in order to be happy. Sometimes we must to be selfish.
My name is Bankole and this is my story of love
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When I was growing up I didn't know my mother. My father always told me she died giving birth to me. My father's second wife brought me up as her own son. When I was 14 a strang woman came to our home and told me that she was my mother. My father's wife on seeing her fainted. This lady was white. Apperently my father had gone to the United states and married after my mother gave birth to me he and my father's second wife (whom they told my mother was his sister) spirited me to Nigeria. She (my mother) had found me with a private detective and she wanted to take me back to what she called home.

I didn't know America and I didn't care for it. I was 14 in a private high school in Nigeria living the life as a light skin fine boy would. My father wasn't particularly wealthy but you wouldn't be able to tell by the enormous hosue we had or the many cars and clothes we owned.

But law was on my mother's side and so I left Nigeria at thea ge of 14 and periodically went back to visit my stepmother and my father whom I loved. Now it came to pass that when I was in college in the States in Maryland (University of Maryland) I met this Nigerian girl that I really liked a lot. We could talk and hang out and we would be seen on campus together many times. The only problem with her was that she wanted a relationship with me but I wasn't ready for that kind of commitment. I just wanted to have fun. I made the mistake of sleeping with her and she assumed we were dating.

I went on a date with another girl and she found out. The next day I heard she attacked the girl and swore to the girl that if she comes near me again she would kill her. The girl never returned my phone calls. I tried to cut relations with this girl but the problem was she was very nice to me. She would come to my apartment and cook, clean and do my laundry. She would iron and help me pack and shop for Nigeria. She would go to my mother's home in Ohio and help her out during the holidays. She acted like I had put a damn ring on her finger. And one thing that I know I probably shouldn't have done was sleep with her. I mean she would come into the room in sexy underwear and I couldn't help myself. She was a really good lay.

But I didn't want her. I really couldn't see myself with her in the long run.

After graduation I moved to New Jersey for Medical school and she came right along as well. She decided to do her masters at Rutgers and I didn't care because she would be out of my hair. She moved into my apartment towards the end of my first year in medical school and since she was a convinience I didn't mind. Of course I continued to see other women without her knowledge. After medical school she wanted me to marry her. I told her I didn't love her and she said that that would come with time. How can it come with time when for the last almost six years we have been together I didn't love you. My mother of course liked her a lot but felt she was to forward.

We kept fighting back and forth and sometimes she would throw things at me like lamps and books and vases. She was very possesive and started stalking me whenever I went to the city for my residency (my residency was in Manhatten). It became a case of avoidance. i would come home late or sometimes not at all because it was just to stressful and as first year residents go, things are not permenent like schedules. Sometimes I would do two days with no sleep and get back home and have to deal with her mouth and attitude.

Anyway, she graduated the second year of my residency with her master's from Rutgars. I didn't go to her graduation because her whole family came and I didn't want to put myself in a situation where people will assume we are going to get married. WE were fighting more and more and i was stashing away money for my escape from her clutches. Shortly after her graduation I finally let her know I was leaving her, then she dropped the bombshell, she was pregnant. she showed me a pregnancy kit she had taken that morning and I knew it was mine and I wanted her to have an abortion. I didn't want a baby with her because I felt she was crazy.

We got married two months later. It was the saddest day of my life. In any of the pictures you will see of our wedding I looked misereable. After the wedding I realized that my pregnant wife had trapped me. She wasn't getting any bigger and then she told me in one of our arguments that she was unable to concieve. A long time ago one of her uncle's had raped her in Nigeria when she was a litle girl of only seven and destroyed chances of her ever having children. I had been trapped.

I started avoiding home.

That was until one day I came home and there was my wife (who repulses me) and this beautiful girl. She greeted me and my wife introduced her as her sister from Nigeria. She was the one that didn't get a visa to come to our wedding. I just stood there spell bound. Never had I seen such a beautiful creature. I could barely speak. We had dinner that night (something I had stopped doing) and my wife kept pawing at me meanwhile I was engaged and aroused by the sight of her sister. She was very sexy without tryin so hard (like her sister) she was very beautiful with no make-up on and she was very educated and could engage you in a conversation she was also very witty.

I felt something stirring in me that I hadn't felt in my entire life. Her sister told her that she could stay with us as long as she needed to in order to et settled here in the states. While my wife was a business woman her sister was a nurse and didn't scorn me whenver I came home with tired aching feet. She empathized and we talked about the medical world. My wife commented that she was happy her sister was around because it was making our marriage work and she could feel my love for her growing. I on the other hand almost laughed because I was falling head over heels in love with her younger sister. I mean I was only five years older than her sister so I didnt' feel bad about it.

My wife and some girlfriends planned a trip to Miami and I knew this was my chance to make a move. I came home and her sister wasn't there apparently she had switched to working nights. I was frustrated. She came in around six in the mornin on my way out the door. I asked her if she was working that night, she said no I said "see you tonight" and leaned down and gave her a huge kiss. she stood there shocked and then she smiled and said "see you tonight" I left for work a happy man.

when I came home that night she was waiting for me and met me at the door she looked worried and cute. I gave her a kiss and said "honey I'm home" We both fell into laughter. She had made dinner. IT was the best dinner of my life. We talked about work and she understand and didn't focus on herself but shared the spotlight with me. She encouraged me to vent and talk about my marriage to her sister. We did dishes together and that was fun. Then we sat down in the living room and she sat on my lap and we talked about us. And how what we were doing was bad but then we didn't care. She leaned in and kissed me and I was a gone man after that. WE made out and then she told me she was a virgin. I felt I couldn't do her an injustice while stil married and unsure of hwere we could take our love. She said she understood. But what she gave me that night was better than sex. It was her heart. And I gave her mine

My wife came back and didn't notice anything amiss. Two days later he sister told her she was moving out. My wife was upset. They had a big fight and i stayed out of it. I knew if I got involved I would take her sister's side.

After work I would stop off at her sister's apartment before coming home. We would talk and eat and just hang. My wife was non the wiser. About a year into my affair my wife told me she was leaving me because she wasn't feeling fulfilled in our marriage. I told her "There's the door don't let it hit you on the way out" I was tired of her and her foolishness. She left, we got a divorce. I started dating her sister. We didn't tell anyone. Then one night she gave me the gift of he body and I felt like conquering hero. I was so happy, I almost cried. This untouched beautiful creature wanted and trusted me with her future.

We went to court the next day and got married.

So we are married and she is carrying my first born boy. Her sister and her are no longer on speakin terms. In fact her whole family: father mother brother and other sister, do not speak with her. My family loves her though. And she feels very happy. My mother adores and dotes and her and if you ask her she will tell you that she gets more love from my family than she was getting from her own. I am happy in our home. I transferred back to maryland and live in Greenbelt now with my beautiful hardworkin wife. I cannot say her name because she is well known and people might figure her out. She is a beauty and I know I am lucky and thank my stars everyday. I know you people might think what I did was wrong and she betrayed her sister but understand this, I love her and will love her till my dying day, that is all the rightness I needed to make a move to be happy. She deserves better than me but I will try to be the best that she ever needs.

Posted by Passion :: 7:06 PM :: 7 comments