Saturday, June 16, 2007
Baby Steps II
My husband and I are happily married.
At least that is what everyone else thinks. We go to Nigerian functions dressed alike and dressed to kill. Everyone that sees us thinks we are the perfect couple. We throw large parties and attend with big cars and a big flare. Every and any reason to be seen we are there. People know us as "Bimbo and Tosin"** but we are not really happy. Not all that glitters is gold. One of my girlfriends told me that she would love to have my relationship. I mean I give marital advice etc. But my marriage is hanging by a thread.
Help me oh
We were young when we walked down the aisle. I was a high school graduate and he was a college graduate. Five years age gap and yet we were in love. Bimbo paid my tuition and I went to college and got a nursing degree. Then I started working for him to go through medical school. We later filed papers for all our siblings and parents to come to the U.S. We own a big house near D.C. We have no children. That is the main reason our marriage is breaking down.
We were so busy with careers and getting established we didn't make babies. Bimbo and I have been to so many baby showers and have become the godparents of so many nieces and nephews but we don't have any of our own. Why? I am afraid to get pregnant again.
Our first pregnancy lasted four months. I was pregnant and things were great and then we went for a check up and the Dr. said that I wasn't pregnant but growing a tumor. It was a shock. My stomach was getting big and the test had said it was a pregnancy and now this. I had the operation and life moved on. We tried to get pregnant again, this time we were successful. We were having twin girls. Unfortunately on December 5 2003, I was in a car accident where a big trailer collided with the car in front of the one I was driving. Before I could break, my car rammed into the car in front of me causing me to suffocate. The next thing I remember, I am waking up to my husband crying. I ask him what happened, he couldn't speak. The doctor tells us that one of the babies is dead and the other one is dying, they have to induce labor. I gave birth to one dead baby and two days later the other one died.
We decided to not try for a few more years and work on getting through the emotional tragedy as best we could. But our relationship was strained. My husband had an affair and well, we began counselling. I stopped trusting him and let's just say that my lack of trust is what is killing our marriage. Did I mention his mother never liked me? Every pregnancy I have had since the stillborns, have been miscarriages. Someone said his mother is eating my baby's because she is a witch. That is still left to be seen. But I know that someday, if it is God's will I will have a baby. Meanwhile my husband and I continue to have sex for procreation purposes only after which he retires to his own bedroom, and I cry alone in mine. What a miserable life. What should I do?
Posted by Passion ::
1:51 PM ::
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