Friday, January 12, 2007
If at first you don't suceed...try again
I have been married four times.
My first wife I met at a wedding ceremony of my younger brother. She was very tall and slender and caught my eye with her smile. She was Indian. I thought I could be with her forever. Then she got breast cancer. We got married two months later when we found out that she would be dead in six months.
Of course we didn't know that she would live for nine more months. It was the hardest nine months of my life. Watching her egg away from the beauty she was into the woman she became. Frail and almost ghost like in her appearance.
My second wife was a Nigerian lady that my parents found for me in our village. I am Yoruba and thought that this marraige would last forever. I didn't love her but respected her and gave her attention, money and time. She had a baby girl for me which I called Oluwaseun. I thought we were happy but I must have been mistaken. She left me for my best friend. I came home from work early and found them wrapped around each other on my sofa. Needless to say, I threw her and her new lover out. WE got a divorce and I hear she and my friend are getting married soon. Wishing them all the best. Since I didn't love her I was only upset about the time and money I wasted on her. That is what I get for bringing her to America. The Ungrateful bitch!
My third wife was a white woman on my job. She was a college professor like me and we enjoyed the same type of books and shows. We went to New York and saw a lot of Broadway shows etc. The problem was that she wasn't really into having children. I have a daugther from my second marriage so I didn't mind. Seun brought me a lot of happiness. I had full custody of her and her mother got to see her only once every month at school (supervised visits). Seun is a smart child, very brilliant and I could not ask for a better child. Anyway, Sharon and I went to the Caribeans and had a small ceremony with a few friends on the beach. The problem was that Sharon didn't like my daughter around. She doesn't like children. Things in the home got worse when Sharon abused my daughter physically. I came home and found my daughter bleeding and bruised and asked what had happened, Sharon confessed to beating up my daughter because she hadn't done the dishes. I rushed my baby to the hospital and found out she had two broken ribs, a sprained arm, lots of cuts and bruising. I reported Sharon to the Doctor who called the police.
I had no problem testifying about her abuse of my daughter, and divorcing her ass as quick as possible. I love my child and despite her mother, Seun shouldn't have to suffer.
So after all this drama with women you would think I gave up. Well about two years ago I met my current wife. She is a Nigerian nurse. Very quiet and gentle. I dated her for a year and then we got engaged and married. She loves Seun and loves me. The problem is that I am not in love with her. I realize this is wronge. I mean she is everything I could want. And you may ask why did I marry her?Well she is the best person I have met, and amazing and sweet and kind. She is loyal and I wake up at night wondering how I got so lucky but I am not in love with her. I admire and respect her and love her body and the way she satisfies me physically. She is very supportive and encouraging and driven. She is very family oriented but I am don't love her.
I don't feel the way I felt for my first wife or even the way I felt for Sharon. I look at her and I don't get warm inside or feel butterflies. I married her because I knew she would be an excellent mother to my daughter but I don't love her. I don't feel that feeling.
And now I feel like I have destined her to a loveless marriage. I pretend and say the words but I feel like a liar. What do i do?
_________________________________________________________________-
Dear Loveless Marriage:
I am sorry for your many losses. The fact that you care about her is not enough. She should know how you feel. And you should open your heart to her and give yourself a chance to love again. Don't compare her to the past women, and don't divorce her unless you feel that you can't love her. In Nigeria divorce is not an option unless a woman or man is disloyal remember that there are many ways to cheat. Cheating of the heart is the same as cheating of the body.
Open your heart to her and give her chance. She may prove to be the best love you have ever had. Don't give up on your marriage just because you don't feel love now. Give it time and trust your heart.
Best wishes
Passion
Posted by Passion ::
10:02 AM ::
3 comments
Post a Comment
-------------------------------------
