Why Get Married: Men Lie Women Cheat!

Thursday, January 04, 2007

To Kill A Mother In-Law Part 1

I found your information through a friend and thought to send you an email. Hopefully I will read my story on your site. I enjoy all the stories on your site and thought that by adding mine people can understand that not all situations are the men's fault and some men actually have balls.

I have been married for three years. I know I am not as experienced with this marriage thing but this story is just the wealth of stress I have experienced in the last three years.

My husband and I met regularly at one of the Nigerian parties that I know many of the nigerians reading this blog must have attended. What happened was he and I were placed on the same table and I am very outgoing so I introduced myself. We began chatting which led to us exchanging numbers. He didn't call me for a month. I decided he was interested as I thought and didn't call him either.

One day I am returning from work on the bus (I am a Registered Nurse and live in Baltimore, MD) and I get a call. It was him and he apologized saying he was away on business and couldn't reach me. I asked what business and then I found out he owns and operates a company in Nigeria that imports Nigerian clothing and food to the states. For someone so young to be involved in this venture was very attractive to me because he had drive and focus to make his company work.

We began dating and our relationship florished. After two years he proposed in the most romantic way. We had gone to visit his family in New York for thanksgiving. (that is his brother and his brother's wife and children). He took me downtown Manhattan and we were in this horse drawn carriage thing when he asked me to marry him in the center of times square. I cried and said yes.

I had met his mother previously at another family event and she was cordial. I guess she didn't think we would be dating still. When she found out he was going to marry me she was upset. She called my house and cursed me out. Said I had destroyed her son's future of marrying into a good home. I come from a polygamus family and my parents are muslim. I guess she wanted him to marry into a christian home with a single mother and father. My siblings (half and whole) are very close. We interact together on a daily basis. The youngest lives with me in Owings Mills and she is from my father's third wife. We are eight in number and we are still very close. We were brought up to believe that whether your mother is this one or that you are all siblings.

His mother hates me. She has done everything to sabotage our marriage plans. I picked the colors gold and blue for the wedding, his side of the family and mine so we can come united, she busted out lilac and hot pink and so all the people from his side show up with lilac and hot pink. I wasn't informed about this change in color but to be amiable I didn't say anything or even fight her. She then proceed to attack the decorations, the food, the catere almost quit on that day because of his crazy ass mother, the hotel wasn't good enough, the flowers were to tall or to short, why did we have two different colors of flowers, why was my viel short not long, why did I wear a strapless wedding gown (I heard the word asewo about twenty times on the day of my wedding from her to me). It was supposed to be the happiest day of my life but in every shot the witch was right there. I got only one shot by myself and none with my husband. She was glued to my side whispering evilness into my ear. We had to reshoot our wedding pictures after the wedding in a seperate photo shoot because we didn't have any of just us.

She is evil in every sense of the word.

I decided to go back to school this year to complete my Bachelor's in Nursing. She is not having any of it. She is upset because she feels that I should be popping out kids.

finally my husband told her the truth that I couldn't have children because of an infection I caught while living in school in Nigeria but that we would adopt children from Nigeria. She almost had a cardiac arrest. She had a nervous breakdown and landed in the hospital. I mean the last three years of marriage have been hell. She has informed his family that I had an abortion while messing around before I met her son and that is why I can't have children.

Lately she blames me for the business that has failed. Actually my husband decided to sell his company to a larger company based here and use the profits to further his education. So we are both in school (he began law school this past fall and I am in my last year of doing my BSN)and we are in the process of adopting a baby.

His brothers and sister (2 brothers and one sister) are in agreement that thier mother is insane and have asked me not to let the stress of her get to me. She comes to our house unannounced and just begins to insult me and I just take it. She is mad that my sister who just got to the states is living in our basement despite the fact that the poor girl is college. She is always abusing my sister and one day even slapped her. I almost lost it then, my husband however told his mother either she apologizes or gets the fuck out of our home and never come back. She apologized but things are still the same.

I am exhuasted from work and school and just trying to be happy in the midst of this craziness. My hubby and I have decided to move away from here once he finishes law school but until three years has passed this is the shit I will have to live with.
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Dear writer:
On the contrary you don't have to live with this. Your husband needs to put his foot down. Unlike most of the stories I read, yours seems to be unsolved. You have the power to solve your problem. this should have been nipped in the bud along time ago when she first started insulting you. Your husband needs to sit her down and lay out the plan. She doesn't have to like you but she has to respect you. You are his wife and if she can't respect you then she is no longer welcome in your lives. You are his family now and he must recognise this significant fact. He can't continue to allow his mother to walk all over you and treat you like scum. If he values you then he will step up.

Let him know that you can't live like this. You shouldn't have to run away just to keep sane. you shouldn't have to pack up your life just to have a normal life. Remember that you are always only a ticket away. So stop the drama now for your marriage's sake.

Passion the Therapist.

Posted by Passion :: 10:58 AM :: 1 comments